Lessons from Solo Parenting
At the start of this week, my two weeks of solo parenting came to an end. I have taken a great deal of time to digest and process my growth from the experience. Here’s what I learned:
1. Because of adding fewer commitments to my calendar, I was in a much better position to weather the inevitable valleys over the course of the two weeks. When my son suddenly came down with a fever in the middle of Thanksgiving dinner, I was able to respond calmly. Typically this would have set me down the fear and resentment spiral. Instead, I felt I was more able to accept the situation as it was. I was able to access my inner wisdom that reminded me it was temporary, and I had what I needed to care for him without my husband. We spent the following day in our PJ’s doing draw-alongs, colouring and enjoying a movie together. It was surprisingly relaxing. When I revisited my original intention for the weekend of rest and connection, I felt good that I was able to do both of those things in spite of Noah’s sudden illness. This is NOT something that would have happened a year or more ago!
2. In coaching, I was taught to JUST BE. When we allow ourselves to JUST BE fully present in a conversation, we are able to tap into our inner wisdom. When I am fully present in a coaching conversation, I truly do not know what question I’m going to ask even as the words are coming out of my mouth. It surprises me each time, but I think it’s because I’m speaking from my intuitive mind, not my logical, rational mind. This requires me to fully trust in myself, which I have learned to do over almost 100 coaching hours. By doing less on Thanksgiving weekend, I was able to make the connection between how I BE in a coaching call to how I BE in parenting. What if I were to tap into my intuitive mind in parenting, rather than my rational, logical mind? How might that make parenting different? Now this isn’t some magic secret to solve all my parenting stresses, but it does offer me a perspective that removes some doubt and pressure in decision-making. Decision fatigue is one of those major pieces of the invisible load for most parents, myself included. If I had a dollar for every question asked before I even get to work in the morning, I wouldn’t need to work!! When it comes to the bigger decisions, I am attempting to tap into my intuitive brain which is allowing me to trust in my decisions more and overthink less. And that feels like a win to me!
