The Value of Community
We have all heard the saying It takes a village to raise a child. These words have been echoing in my ears over the last two weeks. While solo parenting, I leaned on my village a lot, and my village delivered in spades. I have been reflecting on this support and its necessity in parenting. In my Seasons of Matrescence® certification, we were reminded of the importance of community in supporting mothers. At first, I thought of my immediate post-partum community - some friends who had babies at the same time and who I could take mom-baby classes with. But it wasn’t the yoga that was the most important piece (because mom-baby yoga was actually just feeding and nappy changing in a different location!!). What was important was the opportunity to connect with other mamas going through the exact same thing. At their core, these outings provided validation. I felt seen, heard and understood each time. I went home feeling like I may not have it all figured out, but I wasn’t the only one. Or someone else struggled with that same thing and had a suggestion. Looking back, those get- togethers/outings were essential in my evolution as a mom. They gave me a sense of belonging and connection with others through the shared experience.
Fast forward to my recent solo parenting experience. Two weeks on my own felt scary, brought up a lot of self doubt and allowed my inner critic many opportunities to wreak havoc. But thanks to my village, what seemed like a daunting two weeks was totally manageable (for the most part!). In addition to some meals, ride-sharing and caring for my children, my village provided me validation. When they reached out to see if I wanted to come for dinner, not only did I jump at the opportunity to make one less meal, I also felt seen and cared for. This is the true value of community. It goes beyond the logistics and supports us at our core. Being validated in my experience of solo parenting allowed me to show up for my kids in the way I wanted to and allowed me to weather the storms with greater ease, grace and compassion for myself. The true value of community in mothering cannot be overstated.
