Solo Parenting

It’s my second full day of two weeks of solo parenting. I tend to find this experience incredibly anxiety-provoking. Despite having done this many times, and knowing intellectually that there are people who do this every day by choice and without choice, I am noticing a lot of emotions rising to the surface. In my last post, I talked about how one of my stress responses is to overplan; I add more to my plate than I can physically handle and then inevitably break down, giving myself permission to do less. Knowing this, I am trying to approach these two weeks with added care. I want to do things differently this time. Starting with making plans. It’s a holiday weekend this weekend, and my normal tendency is to schedule all kinds of plans with loads of different people. Instead, I have made minimal plans. This is really uncomfortable for me. Not knowing what I’m going to be doing with the kids for three whole days makes me uncomfortable! But instead of overscheduling, I’m allowing myself to sit in the discomfort. I’m leaning into my curiosity - What opportunities can arise because of this different choice? How will we end up spending our time? How will I feel at the end of each day? At the end of the weekend? My intention is to feel rested and connected with my kids. 

I have changed so much since becoming a mother. Having completed the Seasons of Matrescence® certification, I now have a framework to make sense of all of those changes, including all the spiritual/existential, physical, political, cultural, economic, career, psychological and relationship changes that have occurred and continue to occur. This is what Nikki McCahon calls the Matrescence Matrix in her Seasons of Matrescence® certification. As I’ve said many times, motherhood is my greatest teacher. Persevering through the challenges has encouraged me to adapt and adjust my approach at every turn, and each sticky situation has prompted me to try something new, which in turn, has revealed some aspect of myself that I didn’t know. This situation in front of me, two weeks of solo parenting, is no different. So instead of dragging myself through the next two weeks, I’m intentionally tweaking my approach because I know this is another opportunity for growth in any one of the areas of the Matrescence Matrix. Exploring how each of these areas has affected me in my journey of motherhood (which is what I offer to my clients!!) is allowing me to try something new here and approach these two weeks with more compassion for myself. I’m curious, excited, and of course a little anxious, to see how it all unfolds. Stay tuned for the part two update next week!