The Mom-Life Balance
Separating work from home can be incredibly challenging at times, particularly depending on the job, the position or the time of year. I often have clients share that a goal of theirs is to work through their challenges at work so they don’t bring them home. This is an admirable goal that attempts to serve the never-ending teeter totter of work-life balance.
As I practised yoga today, I set the intention of letting go of my to-do list in an attempt to be in the present moment. This is often the case when I practise - offering myself uninterrupted time just for me, to connect with myself through movement. Yoga allows me to let go of my to-do list in order to make space for other things, such as creativity, reflection and growth. Today, however, this was harder to achieve than normal. I couldn’t help but wonder why? I’m on vacation, so why is it so hard? There are no major things to plan, events to organize, logistics to coordinate. What surfaced as I reflected on this was that there is very little separation between the job of mothering and life. Just like that job that wakes us up at night or has us checking emails after work hours.
But unlike that job that consumes us, we can’t leave the job of mothering, nor can we really change the job description. So where does that leave us? I used to think I had to leave town, be physically separated from my family in order to fully embrace relaxation and the never-ending to-dos. I’ve learned over the years that that’s not realistic for a variety of reasons, including the fact that separation actually sometimes makes the worry about my kids grow! Now, I’ve come to realize that how I manage myself, my expectations, and my worries is the only way to separate myself from the job in an attempt at mothering - life balance. When I found myself getting consumed in the to-dos during yoga today, I used breath to detach from those thoughts, grounding myself in the knowing that this movement will serve me in those decisions afterward. That decision requires deep trust in myself - to let go of those to-dos and know they will still be there after I leave my mat, and that I will be better equipped to manage them.
This is far easier said than done, however, each time I let go of a thought that doesn’t serve me, I am exercising the muscle. There is no destination, no complete separation. Instead, there is a greater awareness of myself in those consuming thoughts and of self trust.
