Why I’m Here

The word ‘matrescence’ led to a HUGE, MASSIVE ‘aha’ moment for me. This word helped describe the journey I had and continue to be on, one where I am learning about myself as I navigate the challenges of motherhood and life in general. Those challenges include the typical sleep deprivation, feeding, toilet training nightmares, etc., but also how I found it so difficult to feel comfortable identifying as a mom, how I didn’t trust myself, how I was constantly consumed in self doubt, overwhelmed by the quantity and magnitude of decisions, how I was drowning in the endless sea of household management, how I struggled to maintain relationships, making sense of my family of origin, separating what was expected of me by my past experiences, society and cultural norms versus what is true and needed for me and my children. 

What I learned through these challenges is that:

• I am capable of so much more than I thought. Parenting doesn’t stop, so being able to fall down time and time again, and pick myself back up every time my child needs me has helped me realize how resilient I am (as is every other mother out there!).

• The more I pour into myself, the more I have to give to my kids and others.

• I can more easily identify what matters to me.

• I am connected to myself. Because of tuning into my kids’ minds and bodies in order to meet their needs, I am more in tune with my own mind, body and needs. 

• I am more comfortable with who I am. I am shedding the parts of me that no longer serve me, and building or keeping the parts of me needed to nourish myself and my children. 

• I am more accepting of who I am because of accepting who my children are, exactly as they are. In order to love them just as they are, I need to love me exactly as I am.

These topics are just some of the things that motherhood affects. Motherhood has been the path to finding myself, and although my kids are 9 and 5, I feel like I’m just getting started!!