In the Shadows
As I evolve into my role as a business owner and work to establish my practice, I can’t help but notice all the similarities between motherhood and entrepreneurship. Anyone who has run a business knows the constant work that goes into building a business, both personally and in the business itself. It requires taking constant inventory of where I am and the state of the business, letting go of what’s not working and leaning into the areas that light me up. There are a lot of aspects of the job that are not within my scope or skill set, and yet I find myself doing them.
Motherhood is a lot of the same. Substitute the word ‘motherhood’ for ‘business’ in the above statements: Anyone who has been a mother knows the constant work that goes into motherhood, both personally and in the role itself. It requires taking constant inventory of where I am and the state of the kids, letting go of what’s not working and leaning into the areas that light me up. There are a lot of aspects of the job that are not within my scope or skill set, and yet I find myself doing them.
This is matrescence - surrendering to what is now and who you are, while also grieving who you once were and what once was. Motherhood and entrepreneurship have both provided me with opportunities to address those personal discomforts that lie under the surface. Those things that bothered me before, or acted like a small thorn in my side suddenly (or sometimes gradually) become more noticeable, and without acknowledging them, it’s impossible to move forward. Lying in the shadows of motherhood and entrepreneurship are opportunities for expansion. But just like shadows can be scary to a small child, so too can they be scary for us. So we tend to avoid them. Or we learn to cope with those shadows and tolerate those discomforts. What I have found is that facing the discomforts, although scary and unsettling, often leads to something greater than I could imagine. When pushed to our limits, we realize those limits are often self-imposed or ingrained in us by society or our experience.
Lurking in the shadows of motherhood and business for me has been self expression. I have spoken to it before, but it has been deeply ingrained in me to keep quiet, that my thoughts and opinions are either not worthwhile or invalid. This has led to massive distrust in myself as a mother, and as a business owner. I worry constantly that I’m making the wrong choice, and I’m afraid to express my ideas publicly (which is a huge impediment to putting your business out there!!). This blog is living proof of me working in my own shadows. It’s an ongoing process, and much like matrescence, the journey is cyclical and non-linear. Just when I think I’ve overcome a hurdle, I feel like I’m back at square one. And so I surrender and begin again. However, because of this ongoing work, I can now put my trust in this: each step is part of a bigger process, one leading to more growth and expansion.
